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xTx’s “The Ways We Are Taught to Be a Girl” shares vignettes, framed as a series of lessons, of a young girl’s stolen innocence from those in her life she should be able to trust but can’t: friends of siblings and parents, camp counsellors. Some of the essays are matter-of-fact in their accounts, evidencing a controlled authorial restraint, though for the reader, they are heavy with sadness.
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(Harper Collins)Īctress Ally Sheedy, who now teaches and mentors young actors in New York City validates the experiences of her adolescent students trying to break into an industry that sees them only as the sum of their body parts in an essay titled, “Stasis.” Through Sheedy’s own experiences (upon receiving her first big movie role, she was given a ThighMaster and told to squeeze it between her legs at least 100 times a day) and the title, itself translated from the Greek as “standing still” highlights the contiguous loop of sexism in a professional context where nothing has changed despite decades of “awareness.” Further, she notes the impulse of sexual assault victims to cast their experience as “not that bad” - partially as a coping mechanism that compartmentalizes the trauma, but also from the internalization of society’s message that victims are instead “survivors” who are “lucky to be alive” because “it could be worse.” Gay’s motivation, to first make space in the collection for people to tell their own stories in order “to share how bad this all is” is part of a larger idea - which is to grow a movement that has the potential to overwrite a culture that has long created, allowed, normalized and reinforced sexual violence and aggression. In her introduction to the book, Gay opens with the story of her own horrific rape at the age of 12. This is not an easy read, but it is an important one.
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There are recollections of painful trauma as well as sharp observations of a world that often takes advantage of women’s’ vulnerability - even as it both rewards and punishes them for the same. The anthology offers essays from a wide range of voices all but two are female. But we mustn’t.įortunately, the 29 essays contained in Roxane Gay’s new edited collection, " Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture," ensure that we will not.
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And given the rapid pace of media sound bytes and our own societal amnesia comes the risk that we may fail to realize the full impact of rape culture’s deleterious effects on our society. Though the victims themselves are distinct individuals who all have their own stories to tell, the patterns of male behavior - ranging from inappropriate innuendo to criminal violence - are very much the same. In the wake of the stories of powerful men perpetuating sexual violence on women, many have wondered how we can create a climate where this behavior has no place.Īt times, the accounts of behavior from men like Harvey Weinstein, Matt Lauer and others have seemed almost indistinguishable when repeated over news wires and radio broadcasts.
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